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MANCINI’S THE MAN (UNLIKE MANUEL, DAVID, ROBERTO, BRENDAN, LORD FERG, ETC)
In these harsh, unforgiving, super-critical times, nobody in football gets credit for things they do any more. Lord Ferg may have won 874 trophies for Manchester United, but now he’s the klutz who left David Moyes the mother of all knots to untangle. Moyes had previously been thought to have done a good job at Everton, but these days he’s being shown up by Roberto Martínez, who plays far more attractive football, it says here. Martínez, in turn, is only doing so well because Moyes was in before him, sorting out the defence. No matter, he’s getting the plaudits for Brendan Rodgers having won promotion at Swansea, so it all balances out, apart from the fact that poor Brenny hasn’t ever received a single smidgen of reflected glory for Swansea’s League Cup win last year, but hey, we don’t write the rules, we just report on them in a clumsy, hard-to-follow manner.
No wonder, then, that managers opt to grab as much credit as they can, whenever they can, whether they deserve it or not. So today, here’s Roberto Mancini, now at Galatasaray, insisting that what exciting, free-scoring, quadruple-chasing Manchester City are up to right now is pretty much all down to him. “I’m happy that Manchester City is one of the best teams in England because I built this team,” he proudly boasted to the BBC World Service. “I think Manuel Pellegrini is doing a good job but what is happening now at Manchester City, we did three years ago. It’s the same. The players that score the goals are players that I bought: Sergio Agüero, Edin Dzeko, Yaya Touré, David Silva and Samir Nasri.”
Give or take an Álvaro Negredo here or there, it’s almost faultless logic. That is until you recall City’s turn in the FA Cup final last season, when Mancini’s side – containing many of the stars who have this season been thumping goals past the likes of Arsenal, West Ham, Manchester United, Tottenham, West Ham, Bayern Munich and West Ham – failed to even trouble, never mind score against, an already relegated Wigan Athletic whose unique selling point was that they operated with a defence consisting of three lifesize papier-mâché models and a man with a hose pouring water on the three lifesize papier-mâché models (Moyes not having been there beforehand at any point to do some much-needed preparatory work, y’see).
In fact, Mancini presided over a performance of such stunning ineptitude at Wembley last May that his input is almost certainly as relevant to Wigan’s success as that of their own then manager, the aforementioned Martínez. So not only can Mancini, by his own rationale, also lay claim to Wigan’s FA Cup, he’s also directly responsible, according to the internationally recognised laws of dominoes, for Everton’s subsequent resurgence and the pressure it’s piling on their former manager Moyes at United. “I’m very happy about what I did in Manchester,” beamed Mancini in conclusion, as he stood by the fireplace, chest out, holding onto both lapels of his jacket. It’s an emotion surely matched by everyone involved with City. Even this new chancer Pellegrini, who if Mancini’s deductive reasoning is anything to go by, might have nowt to do with City’s current brilliance, but at least now has memories of his 2011/12 La Liga title with Real Madrid to keep him warm at night. Well done, Manuel! Well done, Roberto! Well done, everyone!
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE TONIGHT
Join Scott Murray from 7.30pm GMT for minute-by-minute coverage of Manchester United 2-0 Sunderland.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Why am I playing so well? Well that’s simple. Because in my role I am the best in the world” – Arturo Vidal makes a grab for the Zlatan Ibrahimovic Award for self-aggrandisement.
FIVER LETTERS
“If my wife is anything to go by, Ossie Ardiles’s diagnosis of ‘fine’ from his nurse means he is probably in trouble after having let the kids have a can of cake frosting for dinner, forgotten to clean the dishes, left the toilet seat up, spent too much time in the pub and put her best blouse in the dryer. Best of luck sir” – Bruce (Snip – Fiver Marriage Councillors).
“Let me just be upfront about this from the get go, I am not a doctor, hip or otherwise but it’s ticketyboo not tickedy right? Get well soon Ossie” – Peter Wilson.
“‘Progressive soccer outfit Southampton’ (seven-minute Robert Fripp guitar solos, Rick Wakeman in a cape … ) clearly did so well in 2005 with Sir Clive Woodward in their management structure, they’ve decided to repeat the trick with the ice hockey fella, Ralph Kreuger (yesterday’s Bits and Bobs). What’s that saying about those who forget the past? I just hope it doesn’t turn into a nightmare … ” – Matt Dony.
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BITS AND BOBS
Nicolas Anelka has insisted he is not antisemitic nor racist in relation to the charges brought against him by the FA over his quenelle gesture.
One to keep your eye on dept: cool-tempered former Tottenham striker Mido has been appointed manager of Cairo club Zamalek, aged 30.
Stan Collymore has hit out at Twitter after being targeted by internet trolls.
New Roma signing Michel Bastos is in hot water after marking his arrival at the club by holding up a scarf emblazoned with the words “Lazio sh1t”. “The club and Michel would like to apologise,” sniffed a Roma suit.
The FA has sprung into action with customary speed to fine Everton £45,000 over an approach for Nottingham Forest’s Jamaal Lascelles four years ago.
Blackpool chairman Karl Oyston has revealed that he took the sensible decision to not be in the same room as Paul Ince when he sacked him. “I informed them that we were making changes by text,” he cowered.
STILL WANT MORE?
From hospital janitor to Watford manager: Simon Burnton interviews Beppe Sannino.
Marina Hyde sizes up the Nicolas Anelka affair.
If Liverpool were to replace Steven Gerrard, who should they replace him with?
Orange cards? Pah, says Paul Wilson. Sort of.
Which clubs have chosen their successor: the Knowledge investigates.
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WHERE’S THE PHIL COLLINS ONE?
Scott Murray
theguardian.com